Day 1 – Something I hate about myself

Posted on August 2, 2010

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Moment of truth for 30 days and this is my first post.

In English. Sorry. Hehehe..

Truthfully, there’s this one thing that I can’t really forget. I grew up with kids making fun of  me. I felt my self-confidence crumbling in seconds the moment I open my mouth.

Since childhood I was known as the chubby, pale kid with big glasses. It was a frightening fact that I was the only student in the whole school to wear glasses. I looked like a nerd.

*pic crdt to google and no.. I was no way cute like this baby.

They used to call me “Si Jongang” when I was a kid. Or maybe “Gigi Jongang”. I hated that name to the pit of my stomach. There were other names as well such as “orang putih sesat” because of my fair complexion and using English as my first language and “Jarah wat” also known as “Jerawat” because of my name. I never had problems with acne before. I was also called “zarah-zarah molekul” when my name showed up in the science textbooks.

I went home crying to my dad asking why in heavens did they give me such a weird name. And my father would laugh and say that he named me after a beautiful princess (from a country I can’t seem to remember). He said looking into my face during the first days of birth reminded him of the princess’s beauty. I beamed at the thought and went to school the next day gleaming. Their name-callings seemed to fade away as I grew up.

One thing that never changes once I grew up would be……

Yeah, if you haven’t guessed it right……. the answer would be my teeth. For those who have met me, you’d soon realize that I’d keep my mouth shut most of the time. Suka berdiam diri. Trying to avoid opening my mouth to speak less you saw my teeth placed crookedly in my mouth in such an unattractive way.

I had friends telling me that I would have been beautiful IF.. yes the IF seemed to bother me most, and once she continued the sentence, I already knew the next words. IF.. only my teeth wasn’t that crooked.

Also had problems finding the right shoes because my feet size are just so BIG!! Arghh! Size 8 for shoes.. and size 10 for feminine shoes with heels. I usually opted for slippers. Huh

I also struggled a bit on my weight. Slightly overweight but guys (especially from my office) kept telling me that the weight is already nice with my height. And I easily believed them. ha ha. No complaints yet but I sometimes wished for a slimmer figure. Who doesn’t right? *arghh.. my flabby arms! Jusmate 5 seems promising.

*checking my wallet……. walaweh! no can do maaa!
And so….. to sum it all up.. The only problem with me would have to be my self confidence on my looks. Am I pretty enough? Do my teeth look so horrid that people just can’t help but STARE? Do I really need to wear braces even though I can’t afford it right now?
huhhhhhhh……….. 
But in a way…. I learned to accept myself.. and don’t hate it that much. Just need to exercise more and mind my eating habits right? (macam jer senang nak buat.. huhuhu)

And another yes, this is what differ us women from men.

We get oversensitive with how we look. Meanwhile guys will get over sensitive with their careers or cars. Kan? Kan? Correct me if I’m wrong.

Ok, done with my first day of truth. Stay tuned for the second day! Daaa~

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